Friday, February 16, 2007

Vancouver, again.

It's Friday the 16th and I am back in Vancouver. This is the last place I expected to be this weekend but last Sunday, after I had attended Cayce's memorial service the day before, Derek Sheplawy called me while I was watching the Grammys with Wig and Ad. Since Derek never calls me and it was so out of the blue I knew it had to be bad news. Sure enough, Derek informed me that Jeremy Deighton ended his own life the day before. I was so shocked and stunned I think that I barely reacted at all. I didn't get much sleep (I had nightmares about James Blunt's face singing that horrible song at me) and woke up crying the next morning. I had no time to process Cayce's death and then had to immediately start making plans to get to Victoria for Jeremy's service.

On Monday I had to make my way to SFO for my flight to Portland. I cried all the way from 24th street BART to the airport. I called Bob Whittaker from the airtrain for moral support and started to feel a bit better (especially when he called my ex-boyfriend "creepy", which he sort of is but only Bob would come out and SAY it!) but when I arrived at check in and they told me I was too late for my flight I finally lost it. I started crying uncontrollably, the woman at the counter was as helpful as she could be and came around and hugged me. She even told me she loved me and offered to get me a sedative. We walked together to the medical clinic and she told me about her life and the people she has lost. I decided against the sedative and just went to my gate. I was thankful for the copies of Who is Bozo Texino that Bill Daniel had given me that morning. I lay down on the floor and watched the movie and ate the butt end of my burrito (El Tonayense, Super Veggie, no cheese) until I could board my flight.

Snow picked me up at PDX and I stayed over on her couch, I wasn't ready to face my lonely studio. The next day JW came over and we listened to the Damned (trying to find songs for Jer's funeral) and I cleaned my place. After JW had to leave Craig Thompson took the next shift and got me out of the house to walk downtown for Japanese food. That was just what I needed, fresh air and raw fish. The days got progressively less hellish until I arrived in Vancouver last night.

All I want to do now is see my dear, grieving friends so that we can comfort each other. If anything good comes out of times like this, one thing is that we all end our phone calls and emails with the words "I love you" because it's really important to remember to tell the people in your life and we get that now.

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Blogger sarah said...

i love you chantale.
just heard your sad sad news. i am thinking of you and your big beautiful heart. xo sarahd

February 19, 2007 7:29 PM  

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